Why did the Chicken Cross the Road? Have you ever asked yourself that stupid, pathetic, useless question? Well, if you haven't, fine. Y'know, I never got the point of anyone asking that question. I never understood the question in the first place, and my personal answer would be, "Whadda heck are you talking about? Hello!? You're going crazy, eh woman (assuming it's a female), why are you suddenly talking about a chicken? Do you think I care? I just like eating them, end of stupid story." Yes. Somewhere on the lines of that at least. I'm quite sure that was what I said when someone asked me that in kindergarten. I was very much a drama queen then. Yeah but anywaste, here's the truth. Okay, a couple of em. You take your pick. Personal Favourites? Pat, Jerry, Ernest Hem, and the Bible.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Isn’t it obvious? Can’t you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the “other side.” That’s what “they” call it the “other side.” Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrase like “the other side.” That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It’s as plain and simple as that.
DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I’ve not been told!
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
GRANDPA: In my day, we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.
GEORGE BUSH, Jr: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas and anthrax on it.
RONALD REAGAN: What chicken?
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?
FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.
EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by “chicken”? Could you define “chicken” please?
GEORGE W. BUSH: I don’t think I should have to answer that question.
LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the “black man” in order to trample him and keep him down.
THE BIBLE: And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, “Thou shalt cross the road.” And the chicken crossed the road, And there was much rejoicing.
woah. haha. Epitome of everything that is english!? Oh no. Hahaha..I suppose the time I've spent in the uk's made me a abit cuckoo. But then it wasn't that long, and I can barely remember a thing anyway..so..hmmm. =\. Funky anyways. Britain is a nice place!
//ear candy - Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas by Coldplay (Man, don't ask, it's on my Real Player playlist. I didn't even know Coldplay sung carols. But it's a superb versh of the song. I love Christmas. So warm + fuzzy. Especially Candlelight Service at church. I dunno..it can be kinda boring but it's all...funky in the end.)
I must admit that after a year of not touching Photoshop, I've totally forgotten everything. So I'm relearning stuff. It's easier though, cause I tend to remember bits and pieces of how to work the whole damn thing. Was editing my small grp photo for fun. It looks quite cool. I hafta download more brushes. Grunge! =). Anyhow, Ivan's got a chicken on his head in the photo. How cool! At least I put the nicest chicken I could find.
Listening was pretty screwed. I mean, yeah, I did it well, cause I found it extremely easy. But either way, the CDs that the whole level used initially were spoilt. Teacher went out of the class, and I started asking everyone what the question meant in english (yes, that's how hopeless I am). Then she came back in and said in chinese, "ni men bu shi xi huan shui jiao mah? xian zai ke yi shui lor." (you people like to sleep right? now you can all sleep lor.) !@#$ !?!?!? She played classical music, it was a tune from Disney's Fantasia. I mean I think that song's cool but..hello!?!?
She went out again, and she came back with a new CD and set of exam papers. I freaked because..I thought I wouldn't understand what the questions were asking. In the end, I more or less did, because I did the dumbest thing. I translated all the passages while listening at the same time into English the best I could and wrote it on the paper. Then I translated the options and questions and then wrote the answer. I'm quite sure I translated it right though. I don't know, the new paper's worth TEN stupid marks only!? The one we got with the faulty CD was 20 marks! =\.
I got art tmr, I'm freaked. I still don't know what to draw, what medium to use, what to put in my mindmap, what to say for the statement, and I need more corrugated board to mount my research! I HATE research on flimsy pieces of lousy Drawing Block. The only time I'll ever succumb to that is if I'm at wits' end.
My brother's going down to church tonight, to check out the next set of the YM curriculum. According to him, it's called Alpha something..or whatever. He can't even remember.
Ooh. Weird Al Yankovic is playing on the laptop. =))))). "I wanna be a stormtrooper". I don't really get it at all, but the beat is cool.
//ear candy - What Makes you Different (Makes you Beautiful) by Andreas Carlsson
Church was pretty fun today, except I felt extremely lethargic. I was like.. x\ this the whole time. Well, except for small group when we had that trial thing. Everyone pleaded guilty. I thought Jie Ming did a good job as a prosecutor, and Carol and Joanna being lawyers in real life, were great. Joanna was a good judge. Haha..if Adriel were the judge that'd be cool cause he's a magistrate in real life y'see..haha. Funky.
Okay. So YM retreat will be held on the 14th-15th of June (3 weeks more..bah) at the Salvation Army place in what seems to be everybody's neighbourhood (Bkt Timah). =\. Well yeah.
Walked past DON on the way to lunch with mom, bumped into Dickson, Eugene, Zhou, Josh and JK. Eh? Why do you people eat at DON every week!? So boring. =\. So anyways I think JK and Josh were like "chanting" the word "Eat". I thought it was quite..ludicrous personally. But yeah. Haha. Nope sorry. Lunching with mom. And do you think I would eat with you guys? one girl and 5 guys. Siao. Major brain damage. Okay, not that it matters to me really, but I got math paper tmr! I think everyone knows that already.
Had lunch at Out of the Pan. Some Beef with Bell Peppers crepe, Chicken Makkiti Crepe and urm..Chicken noodle soup. Fullll. Burrp. Had a choc shake too. Anyways. I'm seriously stressed. Funny though, cause it seems like I'm doing nothing but..I dunno. Sometimes I do my homework halfway and then i go all boohoo-ey. Heh. Math paper's tmr. I'm quite sure I won't screw up on paper one, or at leat I can't. I mean, last year my highest grade for math was..21.5/100!?!? Hello!? So schitty. Basically I take it that my papers finish on Tuesday. Cause on Wed it's Chinese Listening, Thurs is art, and Friday is Bio/Chem MCQ..stuff that are well..not very "big" papers. I'm still struggling in the battle with the Supreme Graphical Solutions Master (Unit 4 of the TYS). I found out my best friend, Mr Calculator actually has Dual Twin power or smth. So I don't have to check his batteries. =). Good ol' Mr Calculator.
Yay! Band pract on Friday night. Can't wait. My first practice with my newly assigned band. Haha. Zhou and Ida are still in my band. Kewlies. Chloe, Steph and Grace are the back-up vocals. Michelle's playing the guitar. And..dunno who. Can't remember. The drummer's Yeshye (still kinda weird saying Yeshye. I remember his name as zhiwei still.) Lala..Was talking to zhou and denise for a super short 3 minutes or something, them rattling on and on about how they DON'T have exams while I do. Ack. Oh denise, y'know, I realised I have the same skirt as you just as you were walking out of the auditorium! haha. And your black Elle slippers? I used to have a pair, they're old now so I threw em away! Poofies. I have the same bag as Cheryl too.
Nick came for YM with Tiff!! Nick's very cute!!!!!! Erm btw, he's only 5/6 yrs old so don't get the wrong idea thanksverymuch. But even in his formative years, he's received about 5 marriage proposals. Lotsa MG girls want to marry him when he's older!! haha. He used to be Rachael's little boyfriend. He lost a tooth last week! And he's a good kid now, at least he doesn't hit me anymore, and he gave me and Ida a nice sweet to suck on! =)
Oohkays. Gotta mug for the next two days and I'm free as a bird. (well, more or less la.) Now the question is, what bird do I want to be? Let's see..ostrich? nah. Head too small, body's too fat. Lays fat eggs. How about a cute Kiwi? Crap. It can't fly..how free is a small bird that can't fly? Emu? Nah. Vannie drew a sketch of it at the zoo. It still haunts me to this very day. I think it looks retarded, plus I watch "Untalkative Bunny" on Disney. Wow. The emu is just..!@#$. I can imagine Vannie running up to me and say, "WILL YOU SHADDUP!?" ok. enough ranting on and on about rubbish. Which reminds me..you know rubbish is really smelly. Like...people throw rubbish everywhere, and it just makes everything stink..vannie says: WILL YOU JUST SHADDUP BEFORE I SLAP YOUR FACE!?" okay.
Er..yea. that's about it.
Toodles.
O and you MUST pray for my math paper!
Please???? Thankies!
